hi Reader,

There’s something i’ve noticed after working with people on public speaking nerves and fear for the last few years...

the room they’re afraid of today is often not where the fear started.

I’ve seen it with people who freeze in meetings.

People who suddenly can’t find the word they were just thinking about.

People who can explain something perfectly 1-1, but go blank when 10 people are looking at them.

And sometimes they’ll say to me: “I don’t know what’s happening to me. I KNOW this stuff.”

Maybe you’ve said some version of that yourself.

And frankly, that’s the part that used to confuse me a ton.

Because if the problem was simply communication skill, more practice should solve it, right?

But sometimes people have practiced for years...

They’ve taken courses.

Watched TED talks.

Joined Toastmasters.

Rehearsed the presentation 20X.

And then the moment arrives...

• their heart races.
• their thoughts scattered.
• their body tightens.
• their words all over the place.
• and suddenly the thing they knew 5 mins ago feels miles away.

There’s a reason for that:

Your brain doesn’t always experience today’s room as just today’s room.

Sometimes a meeting, a presentation, or a person in front of you touches something much older.. maybe it was a time when being watched felt dangerous.

Maybe making a mistake had unpleasant consequences.

Maybe you were criticized, bullied, humiliated, or made to feel like you didn’t belong.

Whatever the original experience was, your body learned something from it.. unconsciously.

And once that pattern gets strong enough, you don’t have to consciously remember the original moment.

Your body remembers it for you.

That’s why you can walk into a completely safe meeting with a completely different group of people...

And still feel like you’re back in the old room.

You might know, intellectually, that you’re safe.

Your body hasn’t caught up yet.

This is why i keep coming back to: Root Before Skill.

Before we add another speaking technique...

Before we tell you to “just be confident”...

Before we rehearse the same presentation another 10 times...

I want you to understand what’s actually happening underneath.

Because once you understand what your system is responding to, the problem starts becoming workable.

And that changes the question.

Instead of: “how do i stop being nervous?”

You can start asking:

“what is my body responding to right now?”

That question can take you somewhere.

More on this soon.

>> Root Before Skill.

-waqas

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