hi Reader,

I've been thinking about a conversation I had with a business owner.

He left his job to start his own business.

The problem was, his business depended on one thing - public speaking:

Talking to people

Sales calls

1-1 client meetings

Small group presentations (15-20 people)

He knew his work.. he cared deeply about helping people.

But every time the conversation mattered, his body seemed to have a different plan:

• his heart would race.
• his thoughts would disappear.
• he'd lose access to everything he had prepared for.

He told me it wasn't just frustrating...

It was costing him clients. Bills he struggled to pay.

About halfway through our conversation, i asked him a question:

"from your perspective, what do you think is actually behind all of this?"

Then i stayed quiet.. 5 seconds passed. He looked at me and said..

"I honestly don't know."

I found it strange 'cause nobody had ever asked him the question before offering him solution to his problem.

For years, he'd been told to practice more.

Slow down.

Take a deep breath.

Be confident.

None of those suggestions are bad.

But they all start from the same assumption:

That the problem begins the moment you stand up to speak.

The more people i work with, the less convinced i am that it is true.

I think we've become very good at treating the moment. I'm not sure we've become very good at understanding what came before it.

That question has changed the way i coach.

In next weeks email, i'd explain why.

But for now, i want to ask you something:

have you ever stopped & asked yourself what might actually be behind the moments where you freeze, go blank, or lose your train of thought when stakes rise?

Or

you were mostly focused on trying to fix the moment itself?

Hit reply and let me know.

(I read every reply)

-waqas

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